Text Response to "Children in the Government"

Stage Eight: Comment on a colleague’s work #2 (POST TO BE GRADED)

I really like the editorial that Leah at In-Formation has put together for her readers. Most importantly, it is written in a way that will keep the attention of her target audience, young college kids, and readers who appreciate a sarcastic tone. I also really enjoy her comparison of the senators to that of children, and bickering adults. It’s really quite clever. Additionally, her presentation is clear and concise, and her conclusion does a great job of reconnecting her whole idea, and directly addressing the audience, something I like to do in my writings as well. My only gripes with the editorial are just a few little grammar and punctuation issues that required me to re-read a few areas, as well as a double-typed word, however despite these, Leah gets her message right across.
A congrats goes out to Leah for a great piece, and personally Leah I agree with you, I feel bad that I was not tracking In-Formation prior to this!

-Derek Rider at Journey to the Center of US Government